The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize