Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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