i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
