no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
