Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He has the fingertips of a God
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