Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
