all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
