soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
