ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
