vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
