Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
