Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize