I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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