question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
