He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
my poor anus
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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