I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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