Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Apparently you make a good broom.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
