You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize