My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
