it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
