bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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