I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
