I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
