I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
