how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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