I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
