I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
