READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
