Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just want nice things and good sex
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
