Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
