My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
