My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
