Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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