I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
