Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
