It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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