..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
