someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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