went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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