So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
