I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize