butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
