OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize