have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
