after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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