Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I CAN MOONWALK!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
