He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
