the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This house was built for laser tag.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
