i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
