what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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