Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
