it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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