so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize