just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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