so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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