"it" just moved
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
