the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
