yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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