I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just made my gag reflex go away.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
