He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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