I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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