I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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