Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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