The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
