Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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