Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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