My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
