Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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