She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
