So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
