it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
