We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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