i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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